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All Alone?

Why Alone Time Can Be a Good Thing

By Mark Stackpole

So what does Riley do when he needs a few minutes of escape? "I call it 'chair time,'" he says. "I sit in my big chair and plug into a movie or TV show. I need this time to recharge, and I notice a difference in my attitude and mood. It's hard for my wife, Dawn, to understand that I need this time, but she always gives it to me anyway. It is a short stay away from the wolves at the door."

Hailing from Berkeley, Calif., syndicated columnist Armin Brott is the father of three daughters. Brott believes that because the "provider-protector" role is so deeply ingrained, men have a tendency to do a lot of self-sacrifice, putting the needs of everyone else in the family before their own. "Having some alone time gives dads time to focus solely on their own needs, which is a pretty hard thing to do," he says. Taking this time is important, but as Brott is quick to point out, "If Dad is asking for alone time, then he absolutely must support the same for Mom."

Steve Wallace, a high school math teacher,football coach and father of three, says during the season, his teaching, coaching and long commute to and from his Manteca, Calif., home can leave him exhausted. "Since I don't have much time with my family anyway, I'm not always looking for time by myself, but all men need some time away," he says. "This is why hunting and bowling were invented."

Want to see more?

• Just Me and My Mobile: Do Babies Need Alone Time?
• It Takes Two to Toddle: The Benefits of Father-Toddler Alone Time
• There's No Place Like a Home Gym: At-home Fitness for Dads-to-Be
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