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Coach, Cheerleader or Spectator?

Dad's Role in the Delivery Room

By Joe Cooke

That means the role of the dad is likely to be affected by what the mom needs, the circumstances around the birth, the dad's abilities and constitution (I almost fainted at one point during the birth of my son), the policies and procedures of the hospital or birthing center, the attitudes and predisposition of the medical staff and countless other factors. Dads have to be flexible, patient and living in the moment and more like personal assistants than coaches.

Even so, husbands can be relegated to a spectator role despite their best intentions and training. Toree Hiebert of LaCenter, Wash., is a certified Bradley Method instructor and a great proponent of husband-coaching, so naturally her husband Kevin went through all the training and received his husband-coach certification. During labor, however, she did not want anyone touching her. Hiebert laughs a bit when she admits she sidelined her husband. The truth is, Mom and Baby are the ones who are ultimately in control.

For men who are willing and able, childbirth offers a realm of opportunities for dads in the delivery room. Forty years ago, my dad paced the waiting room while he waited for me to come into the world, but there's a lesson he taught me as I grew up: If you see something that needs to be done, don't hesitate – just step in there and do it. That piece of timeless wisdom does a pretty good job of expressing the current role of dads in the delivery room.

Want to see more?

• Partner Power
• Postpartum Dad: Helping with Labor, Delivery and Baby's Homecoming"
• Putting Yourself in Her Shoes
• Talk about it!