Coach, Cheerleader or Spectator?

Dad's Role in the Delivery Room

By Joe Cooke

During the past 40 years, dads-to-be have graduated from the waiting room to the delivery room during birth, thanks in large part to patriarchs like Dr. Fernand Lamaze and Dr. Robert Bradley – the two most celebrated pioneers of husband-coached childbirth.

But, as any person contemplating the realities of an impending delivery knows, the role of dads in the delivery room is still evolving. Even today, despite available training, many of us are not sure what to expect when the big day arrives. Will we be coach, teammate, cheerleader or mere spectator?

In 1992, L.L. Chapman interviewed 20 couples from five hospitals in the San Francisco Bay area and found that most of the husbands ended up as delivery room spectators. Chapman then recommended that the concept of husband-coaching be re-evaluated, and decision makers at Lamaze International agreed. Their position paper, "Lamaze for the 21st Century," states, "... the 'coach' who takes charge of the birth, calling the plays and instructing the mother, has been retired."

When I first read that statement, I was outraged. I felt like my own experience in the delivery room with both our children was exactly the opposite. The nurses and our doctor treated me like a valuable team member. I did everything from carrying luggage and fetching Popsicles to watching over Baby's heart rate while the nurses were out (our daughter had complications). When it came time to push, one of the nurses called me over and stationed me on JoAnn's right side to coach the pushing so that the medical staff could help out with the baby. It was an amazing experience and it changed my fundamental appreciation for the miracle of childbirth and life itself.

Of course, I thought that my experience was similar to all the fathers of the past 10 or 20 years. As I spoke with fathers from around the country, however, I found out I was wrong.

Paul Meyer and his wife, Ruth, of Madison, Wis., attended Lamaze classes before the birth of their first child. Even after 16 years, he can still remember the details.

Want to see more?

• Partner Power
• Postpartum Dad: Helping with Labor, Delivery and Baby's Homecoming"
• Putting Yourself in Her Shoes
• Talk about it!