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Bye Bye, Babysitter
Help Your Toddler Cope After a Beloved Sitter Leaves
By Shel Franco
Ceil Groves, a former elementary school teacher, spent years hugging, kissing, guiding and molding little children long after she'd left the classroom and her own children had grown. As a professional nanny in Utah and Pennsylvania, she had the pleasure of connecting with families on a very personal level. When medical reasons caused her to resign a recent position, she was heartbroken.
"You form an attachment to those kids," Groves says. "A very, very deep, soul-nurturing attachment develops, and it stays with you. Those children become a replacement, a reminder, for your own children or grandchildren."
Groves wasn't the only one who had difficulty with the change. "[The children] missed me terribly," she says. "Even their sleep routines were affected."
Many children are in childcare for hours a day. The bond they develop with their caregiver is second only to the bond they have with Mom or Dad. That's what makes it so difficult when a caregiver has to leave. If you find yourself in a similar situation, the right preparation and actions can help you and your child adjust to the caregiver's departure and look back on the relationship with smiles instead of tears.
The bond between caregiver and child is critical. "An established bond will help the child to feel secure, comfortable and relaxed while the parent is not present," says Dr. Carl Arinoldo, a psychologist practicing for more than 25 years in Stony Brook, N.Y. "It can also help to reduce or eliminate any fears that the child may have simply because the parent is not there."
