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Developmental Disagreements
When Other People See Something You Don't
By Shel Franco
On the other hand, if testing shows the original suspicion was unwarranted, you may be confronted with a fresh dose of anger for what your family has been put through. After a year of testing, observation and even conflicting results, Laura's son was given the "all's clear" sign. For Laura, the relief was definitely mixed with some resentment. "It's a relief that I got the OK in the end," she says. "But in some ways it was a waste of time and constant worry. Now I overanalyze the things he says, some of his actions. I wonder if we never had that talk that day if I would think, 'He's just a baby'?"
Dr. Arinoldo has some advice for parents who find themselves in this situation. "The parents should realize that, in most cases, the person who initially suggested a problem really meant no harm and was probably just concerned about the child's welfare – and put the whole thing behind them!" he says.
Even Laura admits that some positives came from her highly emotional experience: "Once I learned more about the possibilities ... I just felt determined that we were going to do everything possible, and I also felt at peace because I had a better understanding of the whole thing, and then through it all I got stronger and thought, 'It's going to be OK.'"
* Last name withheld to protect privacy.
