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Home › Articles › Dads-to-Be › Congratulations, Dad

Congratulations, Dad

A Dad's Eye View of Finding out You're Going to Be a Father

By Mark Stackpole

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Making the transition to fatherhood may mean that a man will have to face concerns about the possible limitations of his own ambitions while at the same time increase the pressure he feels to support his family. Being able to face these insecurities means being a better dad and a stronger person. The most rewarding part of conquering fears about parenting? "Assuming the responsibility of fatherhood and really 'becoming a man,'" Buccino says. "Taking on the generativity that comes with having children can be very humbling and very rewarding. It can also be an opportunity to build a relationship anew with one's partner and to get to know a whole new person as well, the baby."

Wow. I was right. I knew that dropping her would turn out to be the least of my worries. But, New Dad, in addition to all of the other physical and emotional work you are doing to prepare for fatherhood, you will worry about breaking her.

"But what if I break her?" you will ask.

"You won't," she will say.

Believe her.

Be an Active Dad

Looking to get a little bit of that practice in and become a little more confident in your fathering style? Daniel Buccino suggests that you take a very active role.

"It's extremely important for a father to spend time with his baby," Buccino says. "It allows Dad to feel like he's part of the process. Dads are different, and ties may go to the mother, but dads are parents, too, not just 'mother's helpers.'"

Spending time allows Dad to begin to get to know the baby and to appreciate the baby's individual temperament, Buccino says. "It sets the groundwork for staying connected and in relation to the child as the baby grows. It allows dads to begin to learn to tolerate uncertainty. And it begins to allow the baby to know that there are other trustworthy figures in the world, besides mom."


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