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Congratulations, Dad

A Dad's Eye View of Finding out You're Going to Be a Father

By Mark Stackpole

Many of these worries can be remedied through on-the-job experience. The first diaper I changed, I had no idea which side was the front (the one with the picture of the cartoon character) and which side was the back (the one with the little Velcro straps). Now, with three kids, I can change two diapers at once while talking on the phone and reading the newspaper. As you get to know your kids, it gets that much easier to understand them, their needs and how to best provide for them, from matching clothes to that bow in the hair.

Some issues, however, take more than just practice. New dads are carrying a lot of heavy emotional weight on their shoulders, and they may find themselves in need of some support. Among these common concerns? "Assuming the responsibility of fatherhood for the rest of his life, and worrying that he'll never have fun again or get his wife back," says Daniel Buccino, director of the Baltimore Psychotherapy Institute and an assistant professor at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. "Worrying that he'll never have fun again. Worrying that the baby won't like him or that he won't know what to do."

As it turns out, many of a father's fears have more to do with his own insecurities than with the arrival of the actual baby. "A lot of emotion may rise to the surface" Buccino says. "Men may revisit the best and worst of their own childhoods. They may feel overwhelmed with pride and responsibility with the new baby and expanded family. Hopefully, men and their partners are talking about some of these issues in advance of the baby's birth so it's not all a complete surprise, but very often men will be surprised by what comes up emotionally at the birth of a child. Even very stoic, 'macho' guys may find themselves becoming more emotional at the enormity of the changes when a baby comes."

Want to see more?

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