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Daddy Play With Me!

An Excerpt from the book Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions are Really Telling Our Children (McGraw-Hill, 2000)

By Elizabeth Pantley

Of course, some daily tasks must be done regardless of their placement of your list. The laundry would definitely not be in my top five, but it still needs to be done! However, having your list will ensure that these "maintenance'' tasks are done with the proper acknowledgement of their importance. This means that I may decide that a game of Monopoly with my children now is worth postponing the laundry until after they've gone to bed.

As for those must-do tasks, some can be undertaken with a child included as helper or simply as company – a 3-year-old can sit beside you with her plastic kitchen set "preparing" her own dinner, as you prepare dinner for the family; a 5-year-old can sort socks or fold hand towels as you fold the other laundry; a 7-year-old can accompany you on your round of errands. In each case, you will most likely enjoy the time talking together.

When you decide that your family and your children are your priority, and that you want, and need, to spend more time with them, your daily decisions will become easier. You may even begin to ascertain that some goals you had rated as "top priority" are supremely unimportant. And as a natural and direct effect, these will fall away, leaving you with two undeniable gains: a heightened and refined sense of values, and the freedom to pursue them.