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Daddy Play With Me!
An Excerpt from the book Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions are Really Telling Our Children (McGraw-Hill, 2000)
By Elizabeth Pantley
Naturally, obligations intrude on our every day. We perceive these obligations from an adult point of view, sorting through them, prioritizing as we go. We give a potential interruption to our mental calendars a quick once-over and make a snap decision: adjust the plan, or stick to it? But however we triage the callings in our lives, time marches on. The work gets done. The meals get prepared. The house gets cleaned. Things work out. Of necessity, we allot time for the chores that keep us fed, clothed, clean; these things push themselves into our plans by their very nature. Other items seize our attention with their urgency – a flashing message machine, a ringing phone, a buzzing doorbell. Certain activities, however, don't call to us so loudly. Yet, these can have an impact more profound than all the others combined: activities such as walking in a park, visiting relatives, tossing a baseball with a child or building a Lego city. These are the things that build up a soul.
What would happen if, today, all parents made their children their top priority?
Nowadays, we so often complain about teenagers and their lack of respect for adults, and we worry about the anger and lack of directin that seems to plague them to the point of violence. Yet, I meet many parents who tell me that their teenagers are wonderful young people, and that they enjoy them now, just as they always have. Therein lies an important lesson: We need to begin, right now, at this very moment, to see each second as a gift, as an opportunity to savor where we all are now – whether we do this by playing, chatting, or simply being together with our children. In so doing, we may weave a lifeline that just may continue to hold throughout the years. When that Lego city gets built, so does the foundation to a future. And a minute of time for a child will someday be worth its equivalent in hours to the adult she becomes. The time we spend with our children now – nurturing, teaching and loving them – is the substance that helps mold them into the people that they will become.
