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Bullying Q&A
Joel Levy's Advice to Parents
iParenting's December 2004 Dad of the Month shares his advice for parents on bullying.
Children who bully others typically do so because they themselves have been bullied in some way. They act out the part of the aggressor on someone else. Parents need to build up their child's self-esteem through positive activities, such as martial arts. They also need to give real consequences to their children if they bully others, and not coddle negative behavior.
In the same vein, parents whose children are victims of bullying need to build their self-esteem so they will have the personal fortitude to stand up to the bully. This can also be accomplished through positive character-building programs, such as martial arts. I'm not suggesting the kids solve their problems by fighting. I'm suggesting they develop their inner self-confidence so they can verbally stand up to the bully.
The ironic thing is, in both cases, parents need to build up their children's self-esteem because bullies and victims both typically suffer from the same problem. They just act them out in different ways. The other interesting piece is that typically bullies will only respect someone after that person stands up to them.
