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"You're Naming Her What?"

9 Rules for Discussing Names

By I.J. Schecter

The due date is fast approaching, and your short list still contains half a dozen names. Others have told you not to worry because, once the baby arrives, it will be perfectly obvious which name best suits him or her. Ignore these people.

4. Browse the books and Internet. You may feel it's not natural to use some anonymous person's suggestions for names, but one you haven't thought of, maybe the ideal one, may jump out at you from the pages of a book, and there's nothing at all wrong with that. As long as your baby gets the name that fits him or her best, does the source really matter?

5. Don't limit yourself. Names evolve over time, fluctuating in popularity, going in and out of fashion, and making their way through various regions and different ethnic groups. There is no rule dictating that a particular name can only fit certain contexts from one generation to the next. So don't relegate your searches only to "names for Jewish children," "Popular Asian names for the 21st century" or "Biblical baby names." You merely want to find a name that resonates with you and that you can imagine your baby carrying around with pride and confidence. So don't worry if the name seems out of context or unusual to your particular demographic. Think about this: It was probably thought outlandish the first time someone named their baby Madison, but in 2001, it was the most popular girls' name.

6. Don't get caught up in boundaries. Most parents start with precisely the same guidelines: a name that is a) distinctive, b) without being overly trendy and c) that doesn't lend itself to teasing or embarrassing nicknames. So what happens if a name suddenly strikes you as the one even if it doesn't fit neatly within these parameters? Go with it. First, names are only as distinctive as the people who own them. Second, "trendy" is a constantly changing concept. Third, it doesn't matter what a child's name is – friends (especially boys) will find funny monikers whether the name lends itself to one or not. The bottom line? Trust your instinct – it's always the best guide.

7. Don't be too quick to discard.

Want to see more?

• What's in a Name? The Methods Some Use to Name Their Babies
• No "Ifs," "Ands" or "Buts": Overcoming Disagreements
  during Pregnancy
• Got It? Check! What to Have on Hand
  after Baby Arrives
• Talk about it!