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What's My Type?
Discover Your Parenting Personality and Recognize What Motivates You
By Janet Levine
, of where they stand. The world is difficult to understand – you can lose your way all too easily. Teaching them for me is giving them some skills, some tools, some road maps to take on their journey.
4. Although you get along with your children most of the time, every so often you clash. What would they say about you in those moments?
a. I come on too emotionally when I'm talking to them – they feel like I'm trying to manipulate them into interacting with me. Why can't I just say things out straight? I try to shine it on. It's almost like I need their approval.
b. I'm too abstract, too theoretical, too detached. They need more emotional, personal interaction from me. We're talking, I'm listening, but they have this sense that I'm not really there, that I've moved to somewhere in my head. The harder they try to know where they are with me, the more I distance myself. They question whether anything gets through to me emotionally.
c. I can come across as an immovable force, solid, implacable, although I'm not usually aware of this. I know I can dig in and nothing people say or do will shift me. I've been accused of being overly defensive, stubborn and critical. I'm not usually aware of my impact on people.
5. Your child is in serious trouble in school because of a grave misdemeanor. How do you try to help in this difficult moment?
a. I try to help by being rational and not getting caught up in emotions. I can explain the inevitability of the disciplinary decision based on school rules. I can support her best by being logical. Then we can have rational discussion, and I can help her see all the reasons for this outcome. She knows how strongly I love her; this has nothing to do with that – school rules are school rules.
