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The Mr. Mom Myth

Exploring the Modern Day Dad

By Greg Downs

The key to learning how to be involved is to start early, says Frank. "Both parents should go to the OB/GYN office," he says. "Both parents should go to the OB/GYN office," says Frank. "The fathers should be as active as possible in the time after childbirth. Then there has to be a sense of doing something with your kids on a pretty regular basis. If you know what your kid's schedule is, if you know the names of their friends, then you're getting pretty close to having some equal balance. Most dads who aren't involved have no clue who their friends are or where they go."

Fathers who take on an equal parenting role shouldn't expect their children to be ignorant of gender differences, however. Jay Massey, father of 5-year-old Tucker, says his son usually looks to whichever parent is closer for support and nurturing. But not all the time.

"If he wakes up in the middle of the night, he calls Joann immediately," says Massey. "But if it's really bad, he calls me. So there is a protector strength that he has assumed that is male. If Joann is driving and says, 'Uh oh, I think we're lost,' he gets nervous even though Joann's never given him any reason to doubt her abilities. One day they were walking past a park, and she said, 'Tucker I don't want to argue with you. When I open the door, I want you to get in the car.' He said, 'Don't worry, Mommy. If there's a stranger, I'll just punch him in the penis."

Want to see more?

• Dads can do everything moms can except breastfeed. Find out how to bond with your breastfed baby.
• If you're divorced, learn how you can successfully co-parent with your ex.
• Read more about the changing role of fatherhood.
• Talk About It

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