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The Mr. Mom Myth

Exploring the Modern Day Dad

By Greg Downs

Taking an equal role in parenting doesn't mean imitating mothers, Kelly says. "It's helpful for me to think about the heritage we have as fathers. It's a different worldview than a woman's. It's really important for our kids to have that input and that perspective. Fathers are often a little more willing to take risks than moms, to let their children climb a little farther out on the tree."

The reverse is also true, however. Mothers also possess some instincts that fathers cannot duplicate, says Mark Abraham, father of 5-year-old Eric and 20-month-old Nicole. "When kids wake up in the middle of the night, moms have a radar that's unbelievable," says Abraham. "My hearing is off the chart. The doctors tell me I can hear a pin drop a mile away. Well at night, my wife hears a pin drop a light year away."

For Curtis Cooper, father of Brett and Brooke, becoming an involved parent meant also learning when to back off. As the children's primary caregiver, Cooper says he fell into the habit of correcting his wife when she disciplined their children. "What used to happen is I would overstep my boundaries and say, 'Look you've got to do it this way.' Then I realized she's got to do it her way." Now, like many couples, the Coopers rely on proximity when making disciplinary decisions. Whichever parent is closer handles the situation, and the other parent offers mostly silent support, says Cooper.

Want to see more?

• Dads can do everything moms can except breastfeed. Find out how to bond with your breastfed baby.
• If you're divorced, learn how you can successfully co-parent with your ex.
• Read more about the changing role of fatherhood.
• Talk About It

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