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Seeing Through Mommy's Eyes

How Dads Can Beat 7 Common New Parent Stressors

By I.J. Schecter

Mothers want their babies to stay babies forever. (Reflect for a moment on the wistful manner in which your mother gazes at you or those lingering hugs she gives, and you'll understand.) Fathers, on the other hand, look forward to seeing their children conquer the world one growth stage at a time.

On your son's first birthday, when your partner starts lamenting the fact that he's growing up too fast, try to resist the typical male reactions: saying it's a good thing in the long run; telling her she might as well celebrate it because she can't stop it; or, worst of all, asking her what the heck she's talking about. What she needs to hear is that you empathize with her. After letting her know you find her feelings perfectly valid and acceptable, assure her that children always need their mommies.

Men generally consider "clean" to mean no dirty underwear hanging on the shower rail. However, women typically find the house a sty if a stray dust speck is found floating out the back door.

Few things will earn you more points – or better communicate that you understand your partner's needs – than taking the initiative to sweep, dust or vacuum on a semi-regular basis. Think of the high you get when one of the players on your baseball fantasy team has a great game – she feels that way when her house is tidy. (Special tip: Try not to boast when you've vacuumed one room or wiped a single placemat. Believe it or not, doing a partial job is actually worse than doing nothing.)

Want to see more?

• Dad's New Role: Should a Worried Father-to-be Share His Concerns?
• Putting Yourself in Her Shoes: Sympathy-Building Exercises for the Dad-to-be
• What Is Dad's Role: A Quiz for Fathers-to-be
• Talk about it!

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