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Seeing Through Mommy's Eyes

How Dads Can Beat 7 Common New Parent Stressors

By I.J. Schecter

No matter how conscientious a father you are, you'll still trip up on occasion: Reacting a bit too slowly, answering a bit too vaguely or remaining in the thrall of Monday Night Football while your wife asks whether the baby has been changed. Being able to step back and appreciate Mommy's perspective can make decisions easier, situations less tense and your overall relationship stronger.

Here are 7 common issues that cause stress between new mommies and daddies and some tips for getting on the right page: hers.

Perhaps because they're more able to hurl 30-pound toddlers in the air, or perhaps because they default into the role as an alternative to being serious, fathers more naturally assume the "clown" character, often provoking the ire of partners trying to focus on discipline, routine and education.

Try balancing fun with teaching. For example, award one airplane ride for each complete run through of the ABCs, or explain different body parts while administering merciless tickling.

Often, you'll let your son or daughter watch one extra video, have one additional story or eat one more cookie, thinking it's harmless. But children need – and want – rules.

Mothers understand this better than anyone or at least better than fathers. This is probably because they're the ones who typically suffer the consequences of dear-old Dad encouraging the little ones to see how much they can get away with before heading off to work, leaving Mom to fend for herself. Read books and visit Web sites to build your knowledge of the benefits of boundaries, then earn both your child's and your partner's respect by enforcing discipline in the right ways and for the right reasons.

Want to see more?

• Dad's New Role: Should a Worried Father-to-be Share His Concerns?
• Putting Yourself in Her Shoes: Sympathy-Building Exercises for the Dad-to-be
• What Is Dad's Role: A Quiz for Fathers-to-be
• Talk about it!

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