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Going the Full Nine
How to be a Model Dad-to-be
By I.J. Schecter
Your role:
Experiment with the three most popular techniques for encouraging a baby to come out and join the party: sex, spicy food and vigorous activity (such as hiking or long walks). Combine all three if you like.
The game is over, and the result is more beautiful than you ever imagined. You're reporting a certain date, time and weight over and over and loving it. Her girlfriends are enjoying every detail of the labor story, which you find a bit curious.
Your role:
Don't contradict her version of the narrative. You'll likely disagree with some of the details, but since she was on heavy drugs for much of the time and battling severe pain for the rest, you should be able to 
forgive a few inaccuracies.
Like a depleted pitcher coming down after a hard-fought win, she's experiencing a roller coaster of emotions, especially after the endless stream of family and friends dissipates, you return to work and she realizes she's responsible for taking care of the vulnerable little creature alone. Though you talked about sleep deprivation, the reality of it is slowly ravaging you. You feel like you're existing in an alternate reality.
Your role:
Take at least a week off from work, or if possible, two. If you can afford it, hire a nurse for the first few nights to help get you acclimated to the constant cycle of feeding, burping and changing. Understand that whatever fatigue you're feeling, she's feeling tenfold, compounded by the emotion of being responsible for a baby's healthy development. Hang in there. Tell her how much you love her. Do it often. Look at the little miracle in your arms, celebrate what you've accomplished together and prepare to experience unparalleled joy for the rest of your lives.
