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Home › Articles › Sex › Keep the Fire Burning

Keep the Fire Burning

The Dad-to-be's Guide to Keeping Sex "Hot" During and After Pregnancy

By Melissa Granberry

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And Baby Makes Three

The baby has arrived! No more morning sickness, no more pregnant belly, no more fear of hurting the baby – your sex life should be back to normal, right? If you are asking yourself these questions, you need to review the tape of your child being born. Remember how that baby got here? Regardless if the delivery was vaginal or Cesarean, Mom's body needs time to heal. Most doctors recommend three to eight weeks before having sex, depending on the amount of tearing (if any) during the delivery.

"After I had our son, we couldn't wait to have sex!" says Chandler. "We attempted intercourse around two weeks after a vaginal birth, but I wasn't ready. I think we eventually were successful around three weeks after the birth."

Dr. Hoffman advises her patients that the first few sexual encounters may not feel too good. "Also, if a woman is breastfeeding, it may interfere with her body's ability to produce lubrication," she says. She suggests using an over-the-counter lubricant, such as KY Jelly, to lessen the soreness.

Six Weeks and Counting

The irony of the "six-week milestone" is that now Mom is finally cleared for sexual activity, she is too exhausted to even think about it. Just keep in mind there are many ways to maintain intimacy that do not necessarily involve intercourse. So snuggle up together on the couch, try giving a nice massage, and soon you'll be well on your way to making baby No. 2!

Energy Boosters for Expectant and New Moms
(Given by Expectant and New Dads)

If you're looking for more action when the sun goes down, then you need to be more attentive during daylight hours. Here are a few suggestions to boost your pregnant wife's energy level in the evenings:

  • Tell her everyday how beautiful she looks.
  • Go with her to the next doctor's appointment, then take her out for lunch.
  • Offer to massage her feet or shoulders.
  • Let her prop her feet up on the couch while you prepare dinner (or order take-out).
  • Run a nice bath for two.

Once the baby has arrived, your wife can probably fantasize about one thing: sleep. Try a few of these tips to see if you can help her save a little energy during the day (to be used at night, of course):

  • Continue to remind her how beautiful she looks and how proud you are of her for delivering your "pride and joy."
  • Watch the baby while Mom does something for herself, like go to the gym or get her nails done.
  • Have snuggle time on the couch when the baby is (finally) sleeping.
  • Hire someone to come in once a week and help with the laundry and housework until Mom can get a good night's sleep.
  • Physically take the baby out of Mom's arms and instruct her to take a nap (no stopping to unload the dishwasher or throw in a load of laundry).

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