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Fuzzy Blue Hippo

A Hopeful Dad's Wait

By Mark Stackpole

Of course, it turns out that you are not coming right now after all. Well, not in strictly biological terms, anyway. There were some telltale physical signs that turned out to be telling only tall tales. I did more research, trying to find out if the new physical signs could be interpreted in any other way. (There is a fine line between implantation spotting and the onset of menstruation.) When your mom confirmed that it was all merely wind at the door, I was driving home from work. After I hung up the cell phone, I rolled the window down and turned off the music. I was so sure. I did not have a doubt. I needed a moment of relative quiet with the wind on my face. I cried. After my learning had failed me with my heart wobbled by the blow, it seemed the only thing left to do.

For the longest time, I simply believed that you would get here when you were ready. What good would it do to stress about it or risk taking the joy out of intimacy by relegating it to "baby making" status? When your mom began charting temperatures and consulting predictor kits, I got a little standoffish. Why should I be at the beck and call of your schedule? You'll get here when you get here. We'd keep doing what we were doing when we were in the mood, but I refused to heed the beeping alarm of an electronic thermometer. I had no desire to add "good day" to my pillow talk. And like a good man who has drawn his line in the sand, I stuck to that basic approach. I remained solid in my convictions even when it became apparent that it was hurting your mom's feelings.

Want to see more?

• Fanning the Flames: Keeping the Love Alive While You're Trying to Conceive
• Male Factor: Infertility From His Perspective
• The Infertility Marketplace: Terms You Need To Know
• Hopeful Dads Discussion Board