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Home › Articles › New Dads/Newborn Issues › What's on Your Mind, Dad?

What's on Your Mind, Dad?

9 New-Dad Questions Answered

By Mark Stackpole

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8. How do I manage the growing costs? My income hasn't changed.
"Money can become a big issue when you have a child," Dr. Panaccione says. "Diapers, formula, highchairs and bouncy seats can all put a bite in the budget, but they don't have to. Be selective about what a baby really needs and which new "this-will-help-your-baby-be-a-genius" items can wait.

"You may have to do a budget," Dr. Panaccione says. "Work on one with your wife. If you are thinking about her future, then talk to a financial planner. There are plans that save for college and offer tax advantages. Look into pre-paid programs with your state colleges. Buy a life-sized piggy bank and start collecting loose change."

And finally, from the "It's Too Late Now, but I'm Going to Ask Anyway" file:

9. What if I'm not ready to be a dad? I'm not sure I'm ready to take on so much responsibility.
"It's hard to get ready for something you have no clue about until you are in the midst of doing it," Dr. Panaccione says. "Once you begin, you will be in training for the rest of your life.

"Being the alpha-male, a new dad thinks of the responsibilities of providing for his family, and making a commitment to someone forever and ever," Dr. Panaccione says. "It's different from marriage vows because your wife already knew how to feed herself and change her own diapers. Bringing a new life into the world is the scariest and the best thing you'll ever do."

Having a baby is like no other experience on earth. "It's not a 'head thing,' it's a 'heart thing,'" Dr. Panaccione says. "Hold him and you will know exactly what to do – love him with all your heart."

Supporting the New Mom

Being a good father is directly related to being a good partner in parenting. Here, Dr. Vicki Panaccione provides some tips for the new dad who wonders, "How can I best show support for my wife while keeping my own sanity?"

  • Understand that just because the baby takes long naps does not mean that your wife should have time to do the laundry and make dinner.
  • Get up in the middle of the night even though you don't want to. Even though you can't nurse him. Even though she's closer.
  • Take charge. Bring home take-out, buy the groceries, use paper plates, do some laundry. (When in doubt, use the "cold" setting. The clothes might not get real clean, but at least they won't shrink.)
  • Understand that your wife's fulltime job is feeding, nurturing and caring for this totally defenseless, needy new person. Her secondary job is to try to take a shower and change clothes. And her third job? Trying to stay awake.


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