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Home › Articles › Fatherhood › The Involved Dad

The Involved Dad

5 Commandments for Today's Family Man

By Gregory Keer

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Two years ago, I was getting a little woozy as I stared at the proof pages of a magazine I was editing. It was 4 a.m. I had phoned my wife five times that night, promising to "come home soon" with each call. I really did love the work I was doing, but not seeing my kids for the whole day left me feeling empty.

The worst of the calls involved hearing my newborn wailing in the background as my then 4-year-old got on the line to say, "You're not even going to cuddle with us tonight?" I had been prepared for missing an occasional night with my kids. I wasn't equipped to miss the three I missed that week alone.

In just a few days, I had broken most of the important rules I set for myself as a father. I did start changing my ways (and eventually got a different job), but here are the "5 commandments" that led me – and can help you – to the promised land of involved fatherhood.

1. You Shall Keep Your Promises to Your Kids
Too often, we worry that our employers or clients will fire us if we don't put them first when they ask for more of our time than we expect. Even more often, we think that we can make it up to our kids for the times we break a promise to be home at a certain time or take them out to play catch. That thinking is wrong. The reality is the employer or client usually won't fire you if you set limits. Often, they respect you more for it. Your kids, on the other hand, will lose faith in you if it happens too often.


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