Dads Flying Solo

How to Come through When Mom Goes Away

By I.J. Schecter

Dads have come a long way in recent years. The modern father can change diapers faster than a pit crew changes tires, spot formula on a store shelf from half a mile away and assemble a toy piano faster than you can say "four C batteries."

But the true test of a modern dad isn't how well he assists Mom – it's how he handles himself when she isn't around. To help you overcome feelings of anxiety or intimidation when Mom's about to head out on a business trip or to see her sister out of town, place yourself in the context you know best: sports. Imagine this: It's late in the game and the score is tied. You're sitting on the bench, adrenaline pumping, when the coach calls your number. It's time to perform.

Here are 5 tips for coming through in the clutch:

 

Successful coaches in today's world of professional sports spend endless hours reviewing game tapes to analyze their opponents and go into matches as prepared as possible. In your role as solo parent, you'll benefit enormously from doing the same – but in this case the game tape is live.

As soon as you find out Mom is going away, start observing your kids as though you're a researcher watching them through one-way glass. Study their habits, tendencies and preferences. Learn how Mom cleverly gets them to do certain things and diverts them from doing others. Perform this exercise a number of times so that your responses in a given situation will be not only effective but also automatic. "The most effective thing I do to prepare for a period of solo caregiving is to sit back and watch my wife go through her normal routines with the kids," says Stephen Goldsmith, father of 5-year-old Riley and 3-year-old A.J. "You could read a dozen books and you still won't learn as much as you will from watching your partner over the course of a single day."

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