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Home › Articles › Dads-to-Be › Resolving to Help

Resolving to Help

6 Tips to Make Mom's Life Easier in the New Year

By I.J. Schecter

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Maria Witte, mother of 3-month-old Vincent, agrees. "The most valuable thing my husband did was to bring me food during his lunch break," she says. "Not only would I get to eat, but he'd hold Vincent so I wouldn't be interrupted. It was a bright spot during some admittedly dark days."

Your acts don't have to be large to count. "Put a glass of water beside my bed every night," says Hetherington. "Make me sandwiches for lunch. The little gestures mean so much."

Prioritize Her
The instant Mom starts nursing, your inner voice says, "OK, she's going to be 20 or 30 minutes. I can get a few bills paid, take care of half a dozen e-mails and take the garbage out."

Here's what she's thinking: "Stay with me." She doesn't care about your mental checklist.

"The absolute best thing you can do is just to sit with me when I'm nursing," says Hetherington. "I know there's not much you can do, but your company saves my sanity."

Don't think it's easy. That voice in your head is going to get louder, and your pulse is going to race more with every minute that ticks by. Focus on Mom. Get her talking about something other than the baby. Tell her an embarrassing story you've never shared. Observe that it's amazing how gorgeous she can look with so little sleep. Just be totally present and make it clear that, right now, she is the only thing in your universe that matters.

Earning Your Stripes

Boot Camp for Dads is a California-based organization that prepares men for fatherhood by having them learn from other dads. Hit the Ground Crawling, the new Boot Camp guide by head coach Greg Bishop, suggests a number of ways dads can help out during pregnancy and the early stages of parenthood. Here are three examples:

  • Try to master the basics – holding, changing, burping, swaddling – then go from there.
  • Try to become an expert in at least one activity. Bathing is a popular one, as are burping (often frustrating), swaddling (often tricky) or lulling your baby to sleep (often impossible).
  • Challenge yourself by taking the baby out for as long a stretch as possible. According to Bishop, you truly earn your stripes once you've taken the baby alone for six to eight hours. Sorry, having your mom help doesn't count.


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