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Relationships that Work ... Together
Couples that Live and Work Side By Side
By Phyllis Edgerly Ring
Keeping respectful boundaries as co-workers and marriage partners is a source of strength for developing both areas, says Doug Welpton, especially if the partners commit to keep their focus in the right place at the right time. "We avoided talking about personal issues or problems while on duty, and avoided criticizing one another either at work or at home," says Jane Grover.
Many couples discover such boundaries naturally in the course of what they do, says Lisa Lovejoy of Strafford, N.H. Two years ago, she and her husband, Henry, founded EcoFish Inc., which markets environmentally responsible seafood to natural-food stores and restaurants.
"We each have our own responsibilities, and it may be easier for us because we have different interests and strengths that seem to complement each other," she says. "We know that it's important that we treat each other like colleagues, and we try to take the personal feelings out of day-to-day operations. It's not always possible, but we've had very few problems."
Marita and Richard Haynes of Portsmouth, N.H., professional photographers and parents of children ages 22, 19, and 8, agree that such an approach can evolve naturally, but only when couples practice good communication, and really know and understand each other's strengths and weaknesses.
"Because we accept and respect these differences, and trust each other, we can walk into a job location and automatically go in different directions for our specific work, " says Richard Haynes. "We use our combined strengths to collaborate and plan, but when it's time to get to work, we stay in the area of our respective jobs – and out of each other's way."
"Acting professionally this way also helps define our roles for others," says Marita Haynes, who manages the bookings, locations, and model contracts for Haynes Images, their commercial photography businss.
