Workaholics

Penciling Your Family In

By Mary Dixon Weidler

"There just isn't enough time," you hear the parent complain. "I have to be up at dawn to help get the kids ready before I put in my eight hours at work. Which, of course, always seem to turn into nine or even more."

The rant continues. "When I get home, I do my best, but it never seems to be enough. One son needs a ride to soccer practice, the other wants help with his math. I try to be patient and listen, but the knowledge that the quarterly reports are due on the boss's desk tomorrow morning gnaws at me. I hate myself for thinking this way, but in the back of my mind I keep counting down toward their bedtime, so I can get back down to business. And, of course, this makes me feel like a bad parent."

The conclusion. "I just wish there was more time – a couple more hours in the day so I could do right by my family and my job."

Sound familiar? Sure, many of us complain about that classic "work-family life juggle." But what might surprise you is that these weren't the words of a working mother. No, this rant comes from Fred Van Oyen, a Gloucester City, N.J. dad – and self-described workaholic.

Even as the world of work changes, attitudes are slow to adjust. Most employers still consider the mother the major caregiver in the family, while the father's role is relegated to financial support – and, of course, supporting mom.

But, according to the National Center for Fathering, the role of fathers was changing as far back as 1987. A Fortune

Want to see more?

• Making Change Work: Husbands and Wives in Stay-At-Home Dad Families
• Miles Between Us: Long-Distance Dads
• Father Time: Striking A Balance Between Work and Home
• The Changing Role of Fatherhood