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Family Rituals and Traditions
Now More Important Than Ever
By Janet Dengel
Ask any adult what they remember about childhood and they'll recall an event that centered around a family tradition or ritual. The family meal, a holiday gathering or even a nightly bedtime routine are all memorable events in a child's mind.
Although a young child's major objective is to become a separate individual, young children also need to form a strong concept of their place in a larger group: the family. Family rituals can enhance a preschooler's identity, provide continuity during times of stress and connect generations in an enduring bond.
"Children love rituals," says Martin V. Cohen, Ph.D., associate director of the Marital and Family Therapy Clinic at New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center. "Children find a certain security and solace in something that gives a sense of belonging and comfort. Kids find rituals fascinating – artistically, spiritually and emotionally."
Each family can create its own simple rituals that include young children. They can be adapted to fit single-parent or working-parent lifestyles. One two-career couple started a ritual: After work, Mom, Dad and Preschooler kicked off their shoes and relaxed on the bed for 15 minutes. The preschooler felt important telling of her day, receiving hugs or sharing a nursery rhyme while the parents got to put their feet up for a short while.
In single-parent families, the preschooler's responsibility to tell a joke at dinner, help plan a Sunday outing or hold on to the coupons during weekly food shopping will enhance his self-worth by making him feel that he is a very necessary part of the family.
