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Home › Articles › Relationships › Marriage Postpartum

Marriage Postpartum

Working Through the Rough Spots

By Tamar Weiss

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Dr. Rita DeMaria, a marriage and family therapist and founder of The Relationship Center, acknowledges this time period when a new baby arrives as one when "a marriage will take an emotional backseat." A couple does need couple time, even once they have begun a family, and Dr. DeMaria suggests that when the baby is around 8 to 10 months old, "it is important for couples to reconnect."

Communicate
Though Green feels that her marital tensions have certainly lessened due to better communication between her husband and herself and more confidence when it comes to caring for the baby, all is not perfect. "There are still things that we have to iron out in terms of who does what, when and why," she says.

"Couples need to both share their feelings and focus on practical issues such as schedules, how duties can be shared, when outside help is needed," Brinn says. "Honesty works best; holding it in just builds resentment toward each other and the baby, which can become difficult to undo."

As much as expectant parents think they are prepared for what lies ahead, there will be surprises. "It's hard to be prepared for these realities until they really happen," Brinn says. "The question is whether or not a couple can talk, be supportive of each other and negotiate to resolve their stressors. If tensions build, it's time to seek outside help to put the issues in perspective and provide a safe forum for discussion."

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