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A Balancing Act
Why TV Doesn't Have to Be the Enemy By Jim Nagle
I tend to take a lot of expert advice regarding myself lightly. For instance, I don't slather up with sunscreen every morning (rain or shine). And I rarely drink the recommended eight glasses of water every day. But when it comes to expert advice about my job as a parent, I am far less easygoing. My 2-year-old daughter, Jessica, will confirm this – she gets smeared head-to-toe for all but the briefest encounters with the sun.
But there is some expert, parental advice that I don't follow: The recommendation that toddlers watch no more than one hour of TV per day.
As a once aspiring super-dad, this sounded reasonable. Today, I'm not so sure. My problem with this is that I think it ignores reality. Much like the old 55 miles per hour speed limit, I doubt many people abide. Let's face it – where else can parents find an instant babysitter that's adored by our kids and doesn't charge $7 an hour?
And then there are the meals that need preparing. Some evenings, Barney and friends can mean the difference between dinner with a salad or without. Also, my wife and I will sometimes use TV to take a little time to nurture our relationship. In all these examples, our daughter's TV viewing time goes up, but we think it's a fair and healthy trade. It results in happier, more loving parents and better nutrition for the family. We also believe that our daughter would vote with us, especially if Elmo was on the ballot.
Now, I realize that my family's situation may be somewhat unique. We moved away from most of our family for my career, so we don't have a grandma or uncle who is a convenient sitter once or twice a week. Plus, we live in the Pacific Northwest where it rains a lot, so we may be a bit more cooped up than a family in San Diego, for example. But I still can't help but feel that there are lots of parents who, like us, use TV as a parenting tool and who, like us, could use more guidance on how to use it in a healthy way. Even dermatologists give alternatives for people lacking sunscreen (put on a hat, cover up, limit your time in the sun, etc.).
My other concern here is that this one-hour time limit represents somewhat of a mixed signal. On one hand, we learn that our babies and toddlers have brains that are rapid-synapse-firing, sponge-like organs that want and need as much stimulation as possible. Then we are told that the wealth of quality educational programs available – full of colors, numbers, languages and people in faraway places laughing, dancing and singing – should be significantly restricted during this critical time in our children's cognitive development.
We all must parent as we see fit. Whether more than an hour of TV is good or bad is up to each parent to decide. For our family, more than an hour of quality television, judiciously administered, is OK. Our priority is certainly to read, sing and interact with our daughter as much as we can. But when we need a break from her or her from us, or when we want to stimulate her brain with things beyond our walls, our town or our country without having to get on a plane, we follow these guidelines:
- She only watches commercial-free children's programming or DVDs of shows that are age appropriate, violence free, educational and that she enjoys.
- We never let her watch TV for more than about 30 minutes at a sitting, and each sitting is spaced out by several hours.
- If my wife and I want to watch a program and our daughter is in the room, one of us always has a remote control in hand for a quick mute or power kill, for inappropriate dialogue, unexpected violence and, of course, commercials. We are especially wary of movie previews and previews of late-night programming.
