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Stress Case

6 Tips to Keep Your Tension Levels in Check

By I.J. Schecter

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Joyful though fatherhood is, dads – especially dads of toddlers – can no more easily avoid stress than a newborn can sprint 100 meters. The good news is, by recognizing where this stress comes from, dads can, for the most part, keep it in check. Here are the most common sources of tension cited by dads and some tips for ensuring it doesn't spiral out of control.

Forging the Bond
Today's typical dad faces a sticky dilemma: He wants to work hard for his family and also enjoy his kids. The stress of a looming deadline at the office is often secondary compared with the stress of knowing one's children are asleep in the morning when he leaves and likely in bed by the time he gets home.

"It's tough to balance the desire to be a great father with the need to continue one's career evolution," says Laurence Applebaum, father of 2-year-old A.J. from Munich, Germany. "Most young dads are on steep job curves, which means they have to decide whether these are the years to break through or just to punch in and out. The former doesn't match up well. I'll [work] hard to be home by 6:00, but that still only allows for two hours before A.J. has to go to bed. Add this to a heavy travel schedule and you've got a major challenge."

Having conversations with your little one from work can help close the distance, but you can take further steps by leaving caring reminders of your presence while you're away. Write a poem for your child, for example, and leave it sticking out from under his pillow. Buy a fun toy and leave instructions for him to find it. Let him wear one of your T-shirts to bed so he's connected to you in the morning even if you're not there to hug him.

Handling Jealousy

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