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Delivery Room Don'ts

What Not to Do in the Delivery Room

By Mark Cloud

To be, or not to be ... in the delivery room, is the question for today's fathers. In the old days (i.e. the 1960s), there was no such delivery room issue for men, whose sole purpose in the birthing process was to smoke and pace nervously in the hospital waiting room. But all that began to change during a strange and frightening time (i.e. the 1970s) when Paul Anka released the song "(You're) Having My Baby." Since that seminal moment, men have appeared with increasing frequency in delivery rooms. And today, while fathers are not officially mandated to be in delivery rooms, they generally are expected by wives and mothers-in-law to "choose" to witness their children's births.

As more and more men make this choice, the father's role in the delivery room is a matter that requires clarification. During the past 18 months, I have twice chosen to be in the delivery when my wife gave birth to our beautiful, albeit loud, baby boys. Beyond staying out of everyone else's way, I discerned nothing in particular that a man in a delivery room is expected to do. I did, however, discover several things that he absolutely should not do. Hopefully, my experiences can provide some guidance to other fathers who choose to enter the delivery room.

You may have heard that a man can help in the delivery room by holding a hand or massaging a foot or whispering words of encouragement into an ear. This may very well be true, but do not do these things to the doctor. Based on my experience, the doctor will initially respond to such efforts with a wide-eyed look of surprise, immediately followed by a more ambiguous look of either gratitude or disgust, accompanied by the command, "Sir! Please move away and sit in the chair."

Want to see more?

• Postpartum Dad Part One: Helping with Labor, Delivery and Baby's Homecoming
• Postpartum Dad Part Two: Supporting Your Partner
• Preparing Your Child for the New Baby
• Preparing for Your Second Child
• Date Night: The Great Escape

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