quick clicks

dads today articles

dads today q&a

message boards

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

Just Say No to "No"

6 Strategies to Get Your Toddler to Do What You Want (Without Using the N-word)

By Jennifer Nelson

Some toddlers view negative attention as better than none at all and will continue a bad behavior to get a reaction -- any reaction. If the behavior is not dangerous or destructive, try to ignore it. When you do, your toddler will usually try something else to gain your attention, and may move on to a new more appropriate behavior. Caution: sometimes ignoring the behavior will increase it temporarily. Be patient.

We often hear this advice for parents of adolescents. But choosing your battles wisely is an effective game plan with toddlers as well. If your child is spending too much of her day in time-out for misbehavior, a new approach is probably warranted. Pick a few of the "worst crimes" to work on. The most offensive, dangerous, damaging or inappropriate behaviors are the ones you'll want to nip. Concentrate on those few, and be consistent in their punishment. As each misdeed is corrected, you can move on to the next, working your way through a misbehavior checklist, one crime at a time.

Redirect the focus of bad behavior. This approach is a simple one that really works. Quietly lead the child away and show her a new, more appropriate activity. Diverting her attention often avoids a temper tantrum or battle. And you never even have to say the word "no." Show or tell a child what she can do instead of punishing for what she can't. This tactic works especially well with pre-verbal children, whose attention spans are not as developed.

Consistency is the Key