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Redirecting Aggression
Be Productive, Not Destructive By Heather V. Long
As children age and go through new experiences, primarily those outside the control of the parent (i.e. school, peers, etc.), these methods continue to be effective as tools for coping with their anger.
"However, parents should work with organizations such as the Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning, Educators for Social Responsibility and the Character Education Partnership to help their schools develop programs to reduce aggressive behavior," says Elias. "Many such programs exist and are important in bringing home and school together in an anti-violence message that kids need to hear strongly and consistently. "Consistency is important for internalization, so that kids will not be likely to turn to violence when adults are not around."
Some parents use sports or other physical outlets for the anger. A physical outlet for aggression is sometimes a good way to keep emotionally charged kids from bubbling over. "Kids do benefit from these things, but much depends on the context," says Elias. "If the soccer team is a source of frustration and humiliation, kicking a soccer ball will not be too helpful a release. But if the soccer team is a source of cooperation and teamwork and positive skill development, it will indeed help to reduce aggressive behavior. Ultimately, releasing anger is good, but much more important is addressing the conditions that are generating the anger in the first place. For a lot of kids, it is being bullied, abused, belittled, verbally put down and unappreciated or excluded that generate the most anger. Changing these circumstances is the best long-term solution."
The responsibility falls to the parents to keep the lines of communication open as well as to watch for patterns of behavior. Identifying the sources of frustration that may lead to aggressive behavior is a first step. Together, parents and children can build positive responses to troubling situations before aggression degenerates into violence.
