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Redirecting Aggression
Be Productive, Not Destructive By Heather V. Long
of violent or aggressive incidents is often useful in reducing the behavior by helping kids see patterns. Parents also need to talk to kids about this: "What can you do when you find yourself getting angry? What can help keep you from losing your cool?"
For some kids, taking a couple of deep breaths works; for others, closing their eyes works; for others, humming a certain song works; some kids just learn to walk to a neutral place. Some families arrange signals to let each other know when they are starting to lose their cool. And of course, parents also can develop some strategies for what to do when they find themselves getting angry. As noted earlier, helping children compensate for their anger is a positive preventive strategy. Also useful is giving kids a chance to engage in acts of kindness to others. This helps build empathy. "Find situations for your child to be helpful to others and they will find that the rewards and good feelings that accompany those behaviors are a lot more fulfilling than aggression," says Elias.
Teaching kindness and compassion starts in the home. It may be as simple as saying "gentle" to a child when they are trying to pat a cheek or pet an animal. Children are the least aware of their own strength and the consequences of overexerting that strength. Little reminders, constant praise and keeping it simple are first steps in any parent's repertoire.
