Dad's Turn

Bonding, Learning and Making Way for Baby

By Tracy McGinnis

More than 1.5 million men become fathers every year and Troy O'Donnell is one of them. Like many, he was filled with fear about what to expect when his new baby arrived. It wasn't until he went through a series of informational sessions – otherwise known as boot camp – with other dads that he began to understand how he could bond with his baby and be there for his wife during this changing time.

"I had the overall fear of what to expect," says O'Donnell, whose daughter Bryn is now 20 months old. "Daddy boot camp was able to provide me with answers. The best part was that they were all fathers, too, accompanied by their children."

Raised with 12 siblings and now the father of four, Greg Bishop understands what it means to be surrounded by kids. Bishop founded Boot Camp for New Dads at Irvine Medical Center in California in 1990 after researching the struggles fathers were having with bonding and understanding their babies. Today there are more than 250 programs that bring fathers-to-be together with recent dads and their newborns for a three-hour session, working on everything from infant care basics and parenting skills to how to take care of a new mom.

O'Donnell says he was exposed to dolls in other fathering classes but nothing prepared him for the wiggling bundle of crying joy he was able to hold while in boot camp. "The most important things I learned were how to hold a baby and how to give it a bottle," he says. "This may sound trivial, but to a man who has little contact with a tiny baby, it can be as intimidating."

Boot Camp for New Dads also includes such topics as teamwork in families, fathers as role models, safety, birth and bonding. The class also attempts to tackle the top five questions asked by expectant fathers, which include:

• I have a busy schedule. How will I have time to spend with my baby?
• Should I take time off from work after the baby is born and, if so, how much?
• My partner has changed a lot. How should I deal with it?
• I'm on a tight budget. How will I afford this baby?

Want to see more?

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• How I Knew I Was a Dad: 15 Surefire Ways
• The Lion Sleeps Tonight: A Father Writes to His New Baby
• Talk about it!