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How I Knew I Was a Dad
15 Surefire Ways
By Jay Sauls
After 18 months of fatherhood, I'm still asked repeatedly by my single and childless friends, "When did you realize you were a dad?" Following are the top 15 ways I knew that I was definitely dad – sound familiar?
- The dog farts and you change the baby. This is considerably preferable to the other way around.
You're surprised to find yourself brushing your teeth with Desitin Ointment, but are happy with the way your mustache glows.- You find yourself watching TV between 2 and 4 a.m. Surprisingly, ESPN is not one of the shows watched. On the down side, you've bought several tummy-tightening belts from infomercials.
- You no longer find the site of guacamole appetizing, but suddenly you find strained peas and carrots quite alluring.
- You start keeping notes on the 2-year-old boys in your neighborhood and begin to cross the bad ones off your list of eventual friends or dates, especially the one who sits with his legs propped up between the handlebars of his Big Wheel. Definitely trouble.
- You see a naked woman's boob on HBO and all you can think is, "Got Milk?" This also gives great pleasure to your wife as she retells the story every time your poker buddies come over for cards.
- You get excited every time a new and improved diaper comes on the market. Your wife gets happy when you announce that you've finally given up on trying to create your own "homemade" diaper out of duct tape and paper machet.
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