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A Really, Really Big Christmas
I just don't get it. Why can't my near-perfect husband get within a rack or five of my size? By Gwen Kopetzky
Ask your wife her sizes.
What a concept. It's true that asking the question may clue your wife into the fact you're buying her clothes for Christmas. You might think that would ruin the surprise, wouldn't you? Believe me, the surprise she'll get if you don't ask her and she unwraps a blouse on Christmas that would have fallen off her at nine months pregnant would be much less desirable. Snoop through the closet.
I swear there's a paralyzing male fear of being caught in the wife's closet. Not to worry -- no one will see you if you just go in there quickly and lift a few tags to jot down sizes. Just don't freeze up. The only danger here is that women often have "fat" and "skinny" clothes in the closet and you won't know exactly where your wife is along that continuum. But you'll probably get pretty close. Talk to a sales clerk.
This will require some men to stretch beyond their normal mall experience. I have witnessed my husband's shopping M.O. many a time. From my observation point, it went something like this: 1) Stride purposefully into men's department. 2) Make a beeline toward wall bins of jeans. 3) Scout out appropriate size. 4) Pull jeans out while simultaneously whipping out wallet. 5) Pay sales clerk quickly and stride purposefully out of store. But if you want to find the right size for your wife, you may have to ask a sales clerk for help. If you know your wife's weight and height or you luck out and the sales clerk -- assuming the clerk is female -- is about the same size as your beloved, you can probably at least get within a size or two.
Try it on.
