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Meltdown Moments

Dealing with Preschool Temper Tantrums

By Margaret Risk

Stein says that she tries hard to keep her tone of voice calm. "But if I'm feeling too angry to deal with my son, I will often ask my husband to step in." She tells her son that "Mommy is mad and needs a time-out." This really helps her calm down and models for her son how to handle anger.

According to the AAP, when tantrums happen often or when a child holds his breath and faints or if they get worse after age 4, you should consult a pediatrician to make sure that your child has no physical or psychological problems.

Stein says that one doctor encouraged her to ignore her son's rages as much as possible. Another suggested that maybe their son felt jealous since he has two younger siblings who get a lot of attention for how cute they are. She has noticed since she began to spend more special time alone with her son that his tantrums have decreased.

"Preschool temper tantrums happen for a variety of reasons, and it doesn't mean you are a bad parent," says Stein. "That's something to remember when you see other people's kids throw tantrums, too."

"Don't ever be embarrassed over public tantrums," says Whipple. She explains that if people are staring, it's likely in sympathy because they've been there or perhaps in appreciation because they wouldn't have the patience to deal with it.

"Every child has a major meltdown in the grocery checkout lane at least once in their lives. You did it, your child does and your grandchildren will," says Whipple. "They are just a fact of life."