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Listen Up!
Why We Shouldn't Yell at Our Children By Kelly Burgess
Although this is very specific to my situation, the basic strategy can be used for anyone. Both Renner and Dr. Hein also stress that a parent doesn't need to give an immediate answer to a child. If your child is asking for something that you know may lead to an argument, put it off, tell him you'll think about it and then use that time to come up with a firm way to say no. Then walk away from the argument. Send the child to his room, if necessary, before the situation gets out of control. And don't let his bad attitude push your buttons. They are, after all, just kids. They don't need to like you, just obey you and respect you.
Dr. Heins also points out thatparents have to pick their fights, especially as a child gets older. Try to give your child some leeway in areas that aren't as important, but when it is important make sure you communicate this effectively. Look them in the eye and speak quietly but firmly. Repeat it if necessary. More draconian actions may occasionally be necessary. For example, Dr. Heins says if getting your child to set the table is a constant battle, merely tell him to do so and that there will be no supper until the table is set. Then go to your room and quietly read a book. Eventually, they'll realize that when you ask them to set the table that you mean now, not later. Then you won't need to yell.
Don't wait until someone mimics you whether it's your children or the family parrot before taking steps to stop yelling. Just remember, discipline doesn't require raised voices.
