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The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Sex Isn't a Four-letter Word
Stepping Back into Intimacy After Children
By Kendeyl Johansen
"Sure honey," I lie, hoping the rumor that my sex drive will return when I'm less exhausted is true. Lars and I make love a couple of times a week. I catch myself hoping he'll hurry one night and feel miserable, seriously starting to worry. I'm only 30 years old and supposed to have a lifetime left for making love. I want to feel volcanic excitement again. Will our sex life ever return to normal?
My friend, Kim, calls to announce she's six weeks pregnant with her first child. Kim and I plan a luncheon with two other friends to celebrate her news.
A week later the four of us settle into our seats in the Italian restaurant and order. I take a breath, eager to find out if my strained sex life is normal. "Max is a tornado. I'm exhausted at night and Lars constantly wants to make love, driving me insane. Do you guys enjoy sex after having kids?"
"No way! I'd rather sleep," cries chubby Kirsten. She dips a garlic breadstick in bleu cheese dressing and takes a bite. "Or eat." (Her name has been changed so her husband doesn't kill me.)
Meagan laughs. She mothers three children under age 4, with the dark under-eye circles and hurried ponytail to prove it. "Sex? Sounds familiar but I'm too tired to remember what it means. Everyone I know with small children feels the same way."
"Glad it's not just me," I sigh. Surely I'll feel differently someday. Maybe when Max enters college.
"What are the three of you talking about?" just-pregnant Kim cries. "James and I make love almost every night. I wouldn't miss it for the world."
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