Got Manners?

Teaching Our Children the Golden Rules

By Donna Smith

Good manners don't come naturally to a child. Children want to be first in line, want the biggest piece of cake and want to be the one noticed in a group. But children need to learn to respect and care about others' feelings, and it's never too early to start.

What do good manners mean to children? To a child, manners mean, "I can make other people feel special," says Judi Vankevich, an award-winning entertainer and educational speaker who is known as The Manners Lady. "And that's what good manners are all about making other people feel valued and special."

Good manners won't be found on television or learned by watching other children. Parents must get involved to teach their children these important life lessons. "As parents we want to equip our children with the skills and attitudes that will help smooth their way through life," says Vankevich. Children love to learn to do things the "right way," she adds. "And they want to do the right thing they just need to be taught how."

Anne Offutt, a mom from Brandenburg, Ky., has started teaching her 3-year-old son about manners. "Children need to learn how to treat others respectfully," says Offutt. "The first thing is teaching 'thank you' and 'please.' It starts to teach them to ask instead of demanding what they want. We deal with talk back a lot, and so we have time-outs when that happens. But he will eventually learn to listen so that he can communicate more effectively."

Angela Peterson of Wilmington, N.C., taught her 3-year-old son to say "yes, sir," "no, sir," "please" and "thank you" as soon as he could talk. "When he handed us something, we would say 'thank you,' or when we would hand him something, we would prompt him to say 'thank you,'" she says. "He still needs to be prompted every now and then."

Want to see more?

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• Can Parents Influence Personality Traits?
• Talk about it!