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Fight Fair
Don't Argue in Front of Your Kids
By Heather Johnson Durocher
More minor decisions that spark a debate, such as where to eat out for dinner, are fine to hash out in front of the children, Fletcher says. Children should hear how everyday decisions such as this are resolved.
Erica Price of Kansas City, Mo., agrees that some topics should be off-limits. "If the fight is about money, for example, will the children worry about whether they will be OK, or that it's their fault?" says Price, the mother of an infant daughter. "Never, ever, ever should the parents have a 'blowout' in front of the little ones. There should be topics that are 'off limits.' But if it's over something small, like what's for dinner, or chores, duke it out with the kids present. How the parents handle each other's point of view is a way of teaching kids to respect others' opinions – and don't forget the compromise at the end."
Dr. Kanoy suggests that parents use common sense when determining what is and isn't appropriate to debate in front of children. "In general, it's not good to undermine each other's parenting skills in front of the kids," she says.
Conflict is inevitable, even in the best of relationships. Remaining focused on your children and what's best for them may help both parents cool their tempers.
"Personally, I do not like to fight in front of my kids, but sometimes it does happen," says Elisabeth Swango, a mother of two from Kent, Ohio. "I believe the most important thing you can do is to resolve the situation in front of them as well. Seeing parents 'make up' can give kids the sense of closure they want and need."
