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Rescuing Romance
Take Your Relationship from Fizzle to Sizzle
By Kelly Burgess
After they had been married for two years, Mindy Howard* of Asheville, N.C., and her husband started trying to conceive. For 13 months now they have been focusing on having sex at the right times of the month, and their sex life has definitely taken a hit. "Sex has become stressful because we can only really make love at certain times, and sometimes my husband doesn't even want to do that," she says. "We try to keep it as spontaneous as possible, but there are only certain things you can do. At this point, we're just making the best we can out of it."
Berman says it's important to try not to obsess about the conception aspect of sex when you are trying to conceive. Rather, she recommends that you look at conception as a fun, new adventure. "When you make love with someone you care about with the purpose of reproducing, it puts a whole new intensity on the act," she says. "If you begin to look at sex as a means to an end [and] conception doesn't happen right away, couples tend to become frustrated and disappointed and then focus even more on conception rather than just having great sex."
Berman also points out that good sex can actually assist in conception. "If a woman is more aroused and, as a result, producing more lubrication, the sperm has a better chance of survival," she says. "Also, if she reaches orgasm, the contractions actually help the semen get sucked up and give the sperm a running start."
Enjoy it! Embrace it! Experience the freedom of not worrying about birth control. It may be one of the few times that you can.
* Name changed to protect privacy.
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