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Do We Have to Have Sex?
Female Sexual Dysfunction
By Lisa A. Goldstein
Neuman has some tips on how to overcome "a good sex life gone bad" when trying to conceive. Her first suggestion is to plan a fun and spontaneous sex date.
Since making a baby has become the focus, it's now work and not play. "Decide at least once a month – when not ovulating or on a period – to have a steamy romp at a hotel," says Neuman. "Don't worry about positions [and] timing ... or even think about getting pregnant. Start by making out like teenagers in the car, and then take it from there."
Moving intimacy out of the bedroom is another effective technique. "The bedroom has now become a baby-making tomb and is probably not as intimate as it was previously," Neuman says. Try doing non-sexual intimate activities together. Neuman advises sharing a mud bath and massage at a romantic spa retreat, a romantic picnic or holding hands on a moonlit stroll. The goal is to de-stress.
Playing sexy games or using sensual toys will also allow you to take a break from being the "sperm and egg matchmaker and focus on pleasuring each other," says Neuman. The reminder that sex is supposed to be fun, too, is very important.
"Remember that parents are sexual too!" says Neuman. "The sooner you believe this, the better. Don't ignore your sex life now that kids will be entering the mix. Once it's gone, it's very hard to bring back."
Ultimately, your problems are worth exploring, because, as Neuman says, "the road to conception will be much easier if you have the foundation of a satisfying sex life."
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