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Do We Have to Have Sex?
Female Sexual Dysfunction
By Lisa A. Goldstein
Sachs has seen some cases where women have good sex lives until they try to conceive. "When sex became a scheduled chore, the joy was never the same," she says. "Anxiety set in with at least one partner, and the relationship had changed."
Neuman agrees that it's quite common for a healthy, active sex life to turn sour when a couple decides to conceive. "Before, the goals of sex were about mutual pleasure and intimacy, and now the goal has changed," she says. "The goal is to make a baby. It's not just about mood anymore. Now sex is all about ovulation calculators and urine tests, timing, optimum sperm count, sexual positions (during and after sex), eating and drinking healthy, possibly hormone injections, etc. It's not just fun and spontaneous anymore."
All of this is very stressful on the couple, and this can inhibit ovarian activity and the production of testosterone, says Neuman. The first is needed toconceive, and the latter is needed for libido. Throw infertility into the equation and the joy can really be taken out of sex. Ironically, she says, infertility drugs can decrease a woman's libido. "Essentially, she'll be better able to get pregnant but won't want to have sex!" says Neuman.
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