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Egg Day
The Next Step Toward Conception
By Mark Stackpole
December 23 was Egg Day. 
While not yet a national holiday, it was an important moment in our household. After years of relying on charted temperatures, we had made the switch to a high-tech ovulation predictor kit. Our efforts at conception were about to move into the 21st century.
No more thermometers for us, thank you very much. We clearly needed something a little more modern. I was hoping for beeps and lots of buttons, perhaps even some computer animation. After all, it can be difficult for a man to maintain his masculinity while battling uphill against infertility. I've been squeezed, shaved, operated on, been intimate with plastic cups, had my pants pulled down and my legs pulled up, and told that my sperm count was roughly equivalent to my shoe size. Is anyone going to begrudge me some electronic gadgetry as we take the next step toward having our first child?
Anyway, the thing didn't beep or buzz or do anything cool at all, except for predict exactly when my wife was ovulating. In its own quiet way, it informed us that it was a good day to conceive. No doubt about it. No temperature interpretation. Just a little, digitized picture of an egg. So, with little fanfare and virtually no flash, it was Egg Day, and suddenly, that simple digital display became my favorite whiz-bang special effect of all time.
(On a related note, I am thinking of inventing an ovulation predictor kit that plays Barry White when the time is right. As soon as the man hears, "We got it goin' on, don't we, baby..." coming from the bathroom, he knows that it's time to shine. Until then, though, that little egg picture will have to do.)
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