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Home › Articles › Dads-to-Be › The Birth Partner

The Birth Partner

Everything You Need to Know to Help a Woman Through Childbirth

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The Take-Charge Routine
Reserve this routine for any time during labor when the mother reacts in any of these ways:

  • She hits an emotional low.
  • She is in despair, weeps or cries out.
  • She wants to give up or feels she cannot go on.
  • She is very tense and cannot relax.
  • She is in a great deal of pain.

The Take-Charge Routine is exactly that. You move in close and do all you can to help the mother until she regains her inner strength. Usually her despair is brief, and with your help, she can pass through it, and her spirits will rise. Use whatever parts of this routine seem appropriate:

  • Remain calm. Your touch should be firm and confident. Your voice should remain calm and encouraging.
  • Stay close. Stay right by her side, your face near hers.
  • Anchor her. Hold her shoulders or her head in your hands – gently, confidently, firmly – or hold her lightly in your arms.
  • Make eye contact. Tell her to open her eyes and look at you. Say it loudly enough for her to hear you – but calmly and kindly.
  • Change the ritual she has been using during contractions. Suggest a different position. Try changing the breathing pattern. Breathe with her or pace her with your hand or voice.
  • Encourage her every breath. Say "Breathe with me ... BREATHE WITH ME ... That's the way ... just like that ... Good ... STAY WITH IT ... just like that ... LOOK AT ME ... Stay with me, Good for you ... It's going away ... Good ... Good ... Now just rest. That was so good." You can whisper these words or say them in a calm, encouraging tone of voice. Sometimes you have to raise your voice to get her attention. But try to keep your tone calm and confident.

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