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Bonding for Life

Develop a Connection with Baby

By Lyn Mettler

Bonding ideally begins right after birth. According to Leiderman, studies show that babies who spend the first hour after delivery with their moms cry less, nurse better and laugh more. Many parents, however, don't get the opportunity to spend that first hour with their baby due to adoption, medical issues or other reasons, but experts say that while that first hour gives parents a head start, there are many more opportunities to start the process.

Bonding with a baby can take many forms, but the most basic method is to simply meet the baby's needs. "You need to understand and read your baby's cues," says Leiderman. When a parent responds to the baby's needs, the baby learns to trust and gains the confidence needed to explore the outside world.

Nancy Hogshead-Makar, a 39-year-old mother from Jacksonville, Fla., felt it was very important to listen and respond to her son Aaron's cues. "Believing that a child is a full human means that, for me, taking his cues as seriously as if an adult made the request," she says. "So when he was hungry, I nursed him. When he wanted to be cuddled, which was a lot of the time, I did. I do not know what's best regarding when to feed him, whether he is ready for a nap, whether he needs to be held. Aaron does."

Research shows that touching and physical contact with the baby is also very beneficial. A study at the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami showed that massaging babies enhanced their ability to learn, and according to pediatrician Dr. William Sears, babies who are frequently carried in a sling cry less, learn more, organize their internal systems better and are smarter.

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