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Father Time

Striking a Balance Between Work and Home

By Jenny Rackley

This option might be more realistic than it seems. If you're a father considering staying at home, examine your earning power as compared to your partner's. Consider work attire (no need for power suits), as well as commuting costs (gas, wear-and-tear of the car, depreciation, extra insurance costs), daycare costs, and all the other expenses of working. Don't forget to factor in stress! Many men find they are happier staying at home with their children. If you're not sure, try it out by taking personal leave. Fathers may be guaranteed up to three months of personal leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act if their child is under a year old, newly adopted, or recently placed with the family as a foster child. (To see if you qualify or if the law applies to your company, check with your employer's human resources department.)

When either parent switches to home after having a career, the transition can be tough. With paid employment, people tend to have confidence, structure and regular positive feedback from coworkers and management. It might be hard to function in an environment with little structure and a lack of positive feedback. Just transition slowly, and find support or playgroups that help you understand you're not alone.

Dan Sherman is now a stay-at-home dad. As a painter, he often found work hard to come by, or requiring a long commute to the job site. Most of the time, his children were either in daycare or after-school care. Dan's wife, Becki, had healthcare benefits, and her work as a computer programmer/analyst provided enough money for the family. So Dan decided to stay home with their two sons: Ben, 8, and Sammy, 4. One day a week, Sammy goes to a Montessori preschool. That gives Dan a needed break, and Sammy has a chance to interact with children his own age. The preschool also provides Dan with educational materials and helps in his new role as full-time father. Dan is enjoying being closer to the boys, and has started pursuing new interests, such as gourmet cooking.

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