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Loosen the Grip and Tighten the Reins
Parental Supervision Is Important
By Jennifer Nelson
Parents who clean their kids' rooms or put away the laundry needn't close their eyes to the surroundings. Think of it as a free peek into the child's world. But many experts say talking – not stalking &3150 is the essential ingredient to uncover the corrupt deeds you suspect your preteen has committed.
Most experts agree parental trust is a fragile bond. Openly confront preteens with any problems or suspicions you have – instead of snooping. Parents should walk a fine line between spying and caring. Bedroom snooping is taboo, and certainly, reading personal papers, diaries or eavesdropping on kids' phone conversations could abuse the parent/child trust.
If parents suspect their preteen is in a life-threatening situation, such as contemplating suicide, addicted to drugs or planning some act of violence or destruction, experts say they should definitely take necessary action. They advise parents to seek help for kids in these circumstances, even if they won't admit there is a problem. However, most experts caution that violating trust is the last resort, something that should be done when all other options have been exhausted.
Normally, treat kids' space the way you want them to treat yours. If parents would never permit preteens to rummage in their purses, then parents needn't examine their child's wallet. That applies to desk drawers, personal papers and other effects. The idea is that respecting a preteen's turf will encourage him to respect his parents' space in return.
Whether your preteen has smoothly sailed or turbulently traveled the superhighway toward autonomy, parental communication and supervision skills will help pave a positive path toward the even more complex teen years to come.
