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Loosen the Grip and Tighten the Reins
Parental Supervision Is Important
By Jennifer Nelson
It's ironic that sound communication is a parent's best weapon during a child's adolescence, yet often times it's seldom utilized. If a parent is concerned that her preteen is doing something that threatens safety or morality, such as drug experimentation, associating with the wrong crowd or any bizarre behavior, the parent is much better off coming forward with a conversation. Experts say parents should fess up their fears and put the ball in the child's court. Kids always want to know that parents care what they do and what's happening in their lives.
"Kids who are properly supervised get into far less trouble," says Ann Marie Ambert, a sociology professor at York University. She says guidelines regarding the use of alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and other taboos should be instilled early. By the time children hit their preteen and teen years, it becomes increasingly more difficult to instill the same lessons. Ambert says parents shouldn't wait to impose restrictions until their child is 15 or 16 years old. At that point, it may be too late.
"Parents today are more likely to downplay the possibility of problems in their children's lives," Ambert says. In her opinion, parents can be naive and often close their eyes to significant problems with their children. They either feel defeated, don't know how to confront the child, or where to seek help. These are issues that need attention. Ambert assures parents that ignorance is not bliss – and ignoring a serious problem is not an effective method of treatment.
